2017: The Year of Enough

by Rebecca A. Watson on February 2, 2018

in Creative Writing, writing

 

“You have a beautiful brain. Now use it.”
Self-examination leads to careful conversations
So ready to own my part, never expecting some won’t
I have had enough

Notifications drain before the sun rises
Emails beckon, ever unanswered
Procrastination becomes art
I give enough

Simple nouns give me pause
Distraction becomes de rigueur
Sober vomiting in the nighttime
My body cries enough

Dogs don’t walk themselves
Sweater swatches multiply
Therapy and an odd chore
Am I doing enough?

Heat wafts out of the oven
Pulling bread from its belly
Soup steam carves its initials in the cold air
I have enough

The quiet voice of the wind
Murmuring in the trees
Waldfee in my peripherals
I am enough

schwarzwald schnee

This is part of my ongoing goal to write more and differently. If you want to read more posts like this, click here

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In my third year of sobriety, I wrote about how much confidence I found through lucid living. This past year has been a complete test of that. There has been so much I have wanted to write about, and I have even gotten as far as finishing drafts for my blog, but somehow, for some reason, I just could not bring myself to finish them.

I can wager at the biggest thing: I took a new job as Head of Digital for a skincare firm close to Freiburg. I knew this would be a challenge, moving into a higher level of management, but I really believed I could thrive back in marketing.

After a year-long stint back in journalism, it became obvious to me that not much had changed, and if anything, the accountablitiy to the advertisers (as opposed to the readers we claim to serve) has gotten more intense. Marketing seemed more my speed–at least I could be transparent in what I was doing. Hey! I am selling you something! And the fact that I was going to be instrumental in creating an online shop, shaping marketing and social media strategy and tracking our progress excited me.

What I should have prepared myself for was what I had an inkling about beforehand: Working in the beauty industry, a branch of the consumer industry that profits from telling people, “There is something wrong with your face.” But I told myself that I was being cynical. I like to look pretty. I enjoy putting on makeup, doing my hair and getting dressed up, so why shouldn’t I enjoy working for a company that helps make that happen?

I mean, c’mon! Who doesn’t love the occasional done-up selfie?

[click to continue…]

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I wrote an open letter awhile back to folks who wanted to leave the United States if Trump was elected. One of the reasons I cited to not leave was heartbreak from afar. And after only one week, I can promise that is absolutely true. But there is more. Weird feelings I never considered have surfaced, and I think they’re worth sharing.

us flag

Like catching a glimpse of a flag and thinking it was American. Unlikely in Deutschland.

I hope you find my perspective worthwhile, and I would love to hear other Americans’ experiences living abroad during this time. [click to continue…]

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In 2017, sobriety is the new subversion

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I stood outside the door of my alternate universe, smoking what felt like my fifth cigarette in a row. Inside was Christmas evening (not the eve before Christmas but rather that strange bookend of time after the holiday morning where all the gifts are opened, videos are watched and leftovers have been eaten). The man […]

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It’s the holiday season and booze is everywhere. I am feeling blessed I made it through to this point in 2016 without a relapse. It has been a really tough year for a lot of us. (RIP Prince) This is the year I realized that just because I re-up for another year of lucid life, […]

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Thumbnail image for Fields Of Strawberries, Artichokes and Garlic – The Cry of an American Living Abroad December 7, 2016

A lot has happened lately, and it has been difficult for me to understand what I am feeling. After returning from a visit to Yosemite and California a few weeks ago, I realized I needed to write something for a reading I had coming up for St. Nikolas, which was last night. What I ended up […]

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Virtual Reading: Change is Easy & Other Novel Concepts

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On Friday I was part of an amazing reading for the latest edition of the Freiburg Review. It was held at the Museum of Contemporary Art, and we traveled throughout the exhibition listening to different readers as we went. And while I don’t think my reading was recorded, I will say that it was spectacular. The […]

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5 Reasons I Stopped Hating and Learned to Love E-Bikes

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After about six months of riding my bike to work 34 km every day(that’s 21 miles for you non-metric folks), my husband said to me, “Now, you’re a legit cyclist.” While I would say many of my friends would have called me that years ago, most of my friends don’t work in the bike industry, […]

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Sobriety and spirituality … and holiday too!

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I was out late on a Saturday night last weekend and saw a group setting up lawn chairs for their sober night out. There is apparently a group here in Freiburg that encourages people who it is possible to have fun on the weekend without drinking. If I am ever downtown again, I will get the […]

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I hate this word: “Refugee”

omar n family July 18, 2016

Awhile back I wrote about how I was working on a project I am really excited about. I live next to a center for asylum seekers, and Germany has been in the news a lot throughout the last year for the number of people it’s accepted from war-torn countries. Why not interview some of these […]

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