Monday Morning Pages: Self Care

by Rebecca A. Watson on April 1, 2014

in comfort, habits, Monday Morning Pages

I’m fully aware that yesterday was Monday. I was trying all afternoon to write something yesterday but it came to this: I said goodbye to my friend Amy and crawled into bed and cried. I needed to. There was no way any sort of meaningful post was coming out of my brain.

Thankfully I’d made dinner early. Sante brought me home several chocolate bars. I watched two episodes of House of Cards. And then I planned to feel better in the morning.

I slept in, waking up to a quiet house. I had breakfast and left the kitchen a disaster. I cried a little and journaled. I did some chores.  I drank a Coke with lunch. I sat outside in the sun and worked for awhile. And I am feeling a little better I think, just letting myself zombie around the house and not holding myself to my normal every day routines.

pizza coke pineapple

Sometimes you gotta call in the big dogs (gluten and dairy enzymes not pictured).

As I was reading through my morning pages from the last two years, it occurred to me that it was my birthday month! Yay Aries! It also dawned me that it was a new month and time to look at a new 30-day challenge. That was right around the time I stumbled onto this from 2012:

I think honestly that all this stuff I’ve been so critical of myself for so long: counting, tracking, setting goals; it might need to be a bit more relaxed than that. It’s good to have goals and check in with them, but quite honestly having my whole life be trackable makes me more of a machine and less of a human Being.

And I want to be able to have lots of things going on and not feel like I have to finish them — as far as hobbies go anyway. I want to be able to enjoy the things I do, not finish them to move onto something else — to cross it off a list. Because something else will fill its place.

Life doesn’t stop — all of its pieces continue to move around me, like sand shifting. I’ll always have tasks, hobbies, projects going on. That is what life is. Not an empty nothing to strive for, but a fullness that sometimes be messy.

I’ve known for quite some time that this is a problem of mine. It’s the Type-A, goal-oriented tiger mom sitting in my head. She runs the judging machine, asking me why I’m doing this or why I haven’t finished that. It’s annoying.

pull out hair

So I decided, why not do a challenge for April like this: Do something nice for myself every day. Practice true self-care.

My morning pages from 2013 reflect this desire:

I guess I need to learn to treat myself in a special way, because that’s what this [a dream I had] is about … seeing all parts of you [the masculine, the addict, the supernatural],  identifying them and accepting them. … A part of me? Evil? I don’t think I’m born with that. I think we’re born neutral and people put those judgments on us.

So since it’s my birthday month and I could really use some special handling (my heart is aching after that goodbye), I’m spending the month doing nice things for myself. Yoga, meditation, yummy snacks, time to read, time to knit, time to play. Maybe I’ll even start up my artist dates for the month. We’ll see.

What about you? How do you practice self-care?

Wondering what this Monday Morning Pages thing is all about? Read how it started. Or check out all the archives.

Photo Credit: Demi-Brook

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Primrose April 2, 2014 at 8:31 am

now, that is a great goal. one thing nice per day for you. may I steal?! xx

Reply

Rebecca A. Watson April 2, 2014 at 9:05 am

Absolutely! Steal away 🙂 The more of us being nice to ourselves, the better this world will be, I think.

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Becky April 2, 2014 at 6:28 pm

Like you I have been trying to do lil things for me each day. I just started writing morning pages too. Each day I try to listen to a positive podcast, read, journal, exercise. 30-60 mins a day of self care. Little timeouts just for me!

Reply

Rebecca A. Watson April 4, 2014 at 2:09 pm

Hey Becky! That’s awesome you’re doing morning pages too. Aren’t they fantastic? I’ve been doing them for years now and they serve to lower my anxiety and just help me get everything sorted before I start my day. I like your idea of listening to a positive podcast. That’s a new one for me 🙂 I will have to borrow!

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Maryn April 4, 2014 at 6:45 am

I love this! Everyday we can carve out a little space to enjoy ourselves without any guilt – even if it’s just 10 minutes 🙂

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Rebecca A. Watson April 4, 2014 at 2:09 pm

Exactly! Just 10 minutes can really help restore balance in our lives 🙂

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Olivia April 4, 2014 at 8:06 am

I’m so sorry about your friend Amy.

This post is very special as it holds a lot of wisdom, do you mind if I quote you in a future post? 🙂

ps. Happy Birthday!

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Rebecca A. Watson April 4, 2014 at 2:10 pm

Thanks Olivia. You’re so sweet. And of course! Quote away. I’m honored 🙂

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