MMP: Avoid Road Construction: Trust Yourself

by Rebecca A. Watson on May 26, 2014

in Monday Morning Pages

Today I finally initiated something I have known for a long time I needed to take care of. I changed my hosting provider, which means my site will (finally!) be running a lot more smoothly. Hooray! (It also explains why I have no images in this week’s post. I’m working without some of my tools.)

It also means that I am doing some of those little things on my list that I know need to be done. This is something I struggle with from time to time. I have all these things that need to be done. I have the time to do them (mostly), but I let them rot on my to-do list because … who knows why?

Well, I guess for this particular thing it was that I didn’t have all the knowledge I needed, and I had to sift through loads of affiliate reviews to find what was honest and real.

(Sidenote: This is why I’ve decided to stop using affiliate links on my resources page. I endorse all of those things because they are awesome and not because I’m getting kickbacks for them.)

This is something that shows up in my journals as well, this realization that I’m getting in my own way. In 2013:

I realized yesterday that the stuff I was dreading (dealing with a client, re-working a blog) didn’t take that long and really wasn’t horrible, so I’ve got to take that into account.

It applies to working out and journaling as well. In 2012:

I wish I didn’t have to write the last page but it’s part of the deal, kinda like yesterday when I didn’t really want to work out my abs, but I did and I’m glad I did.

When I hear the phrase Getting out of your own way, I often think it’s a bit esoteric. Like what does that really look like? And I think a lot of it is about following through on what you said you were going to do.

Like, I made a promise I would write three pages. That I’d work out my core. And when I keep those promises, I continue easily on my own path.

It’s when I start to back out of the promises I’ve made to myself and others (like I did last week when I skipped a run Sante and I had planned) that I get balled up. Sure, I’m still on my path, but I’ve got all these feelings to deal with: guilt, pressure, anger, regret.

It’s not like they’re blocking my path. I can still move ahead. It’s more like they’re the road construction crew, slowing my summer road trip down to a snail’s pace in some of the most boring landscape around. Following through keeps me moving smoothly.

But what about those days where you can’t follow through or keep a promise? Like maybe I just overbooked on myself and something’s gotta give. (That was the case last week.) I think the important thing here is self-trust. You know yourself better than anyone. You know what you can and can’t deal with. You understand how and if you’ll be a contribution to a situation or a detriment. Listen to yourself and don’t let that inner critic guilt you into feeling bad.

And above all, trust your gut. From 2012:

This is something to work on. Not strengthening your memories [of abuse] but trusting yourself. I am trustworthy. I tell the truth. I am honest. I am living in harmony with myself. I trust myself. My friends trust me. Sante trusts me. I deserve trust. I follow through. I live and honest life. I’m a good human being. Your family raised you to think you were a liar. You’re not. You’re an honest person.

This was one of the nice things I did for myself yesterday. Instead of taking a 6:30 am train to arrive at my race more than 2 hours early, I decided to take the one that arrived 45 minutes early. I trusted that I was making a good decision and that if it didn’t work out, I wasn’t gonna be mad about missing the start.

It’s also what I did with choosing my hosting provider. There are loads of services I could go with, and I had several in mind. But now that the choice has been made, I’m trusting that I made the best choice I could and that (now here’s a novel concept) I can always change my mind later.

All of this — getting out of my own way by following through, trusting myself and allowing myself to change my mind – is shifting something within me. It feels great. It’s also nice that my website is loading at an acceptable speed too 😉

What does getting out of your own way look like to you?

Wondering what this Monday Morning Pages thing is all about? Read how it started. Or check out all the archives.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Furtheron May 27, 2014 at 10:04 am

Stress an pressure are interesting things… we create them ourselves through our perceptions of the expectations of others or ourselves… nothing more.

Just stop to thing – the stress of being somewhere ontime – it is ours alone to control to a point – like you way, the train was due to get me there in time – if that fails, not your fault our of your control, you did your best… but…

Cooking – that is one for me. I’m much much better than I used to be. But recently we had a big family meal I was cooking for about 9 or so of us. I just wanted nothing to go wrong… crash, bang, etc. in the kitchen as I try to juggle stir frying more than one dish… my daughter comes out. “Can I help?” – simple really she helped so much

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