MMP: On Being OK and Following Through

by Rebecca A. Watson on June 16, 2014

in Monday Morning Pages

This past week I wrote about how I was struggling a bit. The weekend was kind of a culmination of that. I ended up Skyping a friend at midnight my time just to get some perspective. And I think it worked.

I’ve been barely sick for a few weeks, just a sore throat and fatigue, but enough to keep me from being on my A-Game. Around the same time, I started work as an editor for an online magazine. Oh yeah, and I’ve been taking classes on the side to be a life coach.

Add to that the usual cleaning, meditating and writing I normally do and, well, no wonder I’m a little run down. I told Sante this weekend, “I just want to keep doing everything the way I have been.” This puzzled him because he knows I have more to do with the same amount of time. In fact, I seem to be the only person who hasn’t grasped that.

Until today. I wrote in 2013:

I will follow through on plans and keep my life simple. That’s something I’ve got to remember. I’ve been committing to so much that I haven’t been feeling like following through with it all. And that isn’t good for me. It makes me feel guilty when I don’t. Now I know that I’ve got to keep it more simple. Setting impossible, unreachable goals is just another way to stay sick.

Isn’t it funny how hard it is to take your own advice? At this point, I know this: The goals I have aren’t unreachable, but maybe some of my deadlines are. I wrote in a post recently for another site that it’s best to have only three things on your to-do list every day.

So I got out of bed today and only puty three things on my work list today. And I got them all done. Plus some other stuff. I feel like I could dance a frickin’ jig! Compare that with how I felt Friday (worn down and discouraged) when I worked hard all day and still hadn’t crossed it all off.

One of the things I’ve worked really hard at in the past few years is exercising my commitment and follow-through muscles. I used to have a legitimate problem with it. From 2012:

I’m so pleased I found Ann [my therapist] and that I was able to see her once a week for two year! That is commitment. I feel good about it.

These things I know:

  • If I accomplish three things every day in my work, I’ll be happy.
  • I don’t need wear deadlines around my neck like a noose.
  • I struggle with depression. That’s OK. I must treat myself kindly.

I wrote about this a few yearsย back, the struggle and acceptance in depression and I seem to forget it occasionally:

Looking for a cure for depression leads to more depression, in my opinion. You’ve got to accept it, manage it and live life.ย 

And that’s the place I came to today. I am OK. I manage my moods pretty well. I’m happy with the human I am and the life I live. I set big goals because I have big dreams, but whether or not I meet my arbitrary deadlines doesn’t define me. Thank goodness.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to eat some apple pear crisp. Because that’s the nice thing I’m doing for myself today ๐Ÿ™‚

Wondering what this Monday Morning Pages thing is all about? Readย how it started. Or check outย all the archives.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Maryn June 16, 2014 at 11:00 pm

We must be on the same wavelength lately because I totally relate to this feeling of being overwhelmed by what needs doing (not just in work, also in life). It’s really a crazy coincidence, but I literally have a post in my draft folder called “Three Things.” I decided that if I could complete 3 things everyday, I would be okay. I guess what they say is true, great minds think alike ๐Ÿ˜‰

P.S. Congrats on the Editor position! Is it something I can check out online?

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Rebecca A. Watson June 17, 2014 at 12:56 pm

Heck yeah great minds think alike! That’s wild you have a draft about 3 things! It really does seem to be the magic number.

Thanks for the congrats ๐Ÿ™‚ I just started the position at Work Awesome and will be starting as the editor at Think Simple Now later this week or next week. I’m pretty stoked ๐Ÿ™‚

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deb June 17, 2014 at 12:44 am

Your post is inspirational. Good timing that I found your blog. xo

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Rebecca A. Watson June 17, 2014 at 12:53 pm

Thanks for commenting Deb. I’m super glad you found it inspirational ๐Ÿ™‚ Yay! Hugs to you!

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carrythemessage June 17, 2014 at 5:34 pm

congrats on your new ventures! yay!

And welcome more work…ha ha. And with that of course comes potential stress and the hammer of trying to DO IT ALL. I have that same affliction – I feel bad and guilty when I don’t get the 534 on my to-do list (which by the way, I wrote for myself). So simplifying…wow, what a concept! And guess what – it works. I have found a few little ways to keep it simple and to declutter and it’s worked for me. Slowly and surely, we can make sure that of course we get certain things done, but realize we can’t get it ALL done. We need to give ourselves some room for other things.

I love that line about having big goals and big dreams, but not worrying about the little deadlines (generally). Of course we need to take certain actions in our lives, yes, but to punish ourselves that way – not needed!

Anyway, I am so happy to hear that your life is full and that it’s getting richer. Congrats again ๐Ÿ™‚

Paul

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Rebecca A. Watson June 19, 2014 at 9:20 am

Thanks so much Paul for your kind words ๐Ÿ™‚ Yes, more work is welcome…most of the time ๐Ÿ˜‰ I like what you said about giving ourselves room for other things. My therapist was saying that exact thing. If we don’t have some space that isn’t structured, nothing really can come to the surface. So yes, I am giving myself that by going to the river today and reading with a friend! Thanks for the comment and hugs to you!

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