MMP: Trust Yourself, Have Faith and Get Big Results

by Rebecca A. Watson on June 23, 2014

in Monday Morning Pages

Who would’ve known that a dream I had this weekend would have me digging through old journals? Apparently giant elephants in a zoo attached to my former employer is a good reason to read through some of my stuff to try to relearn some old lessons.

Back in the day I used to read through my past writing and pull out lessons I’d learned, sort of like a cheat sheet for the time period it covered. Like so:

trust yourself have faith 1

This is a journal from 2008, but those lessons ring more true as each day passes. I might have to start doing this practice again, as it’s just kinda fun to go through the crib notes of life sometimes.

But that wasn’t what I was looking for. I found it rather quickly in something from this week in 2009. It was the week before I got on a plane to live in a place I’d never been, without a job and only the whisper of an acquaintance.

I love my life and am so thankful for the opportunity(s) I have. I just have to trust the Universe. Just know it’s gonna be OK. You will be fine — wonderful, lovely, happy — all of it. Just live in the moment. Take things as they come.

Don’t worry. It helps nothing. Be calm. Still. In this moment, all things are good. You have a roof over your head, food in your fridge, hot running clean water, electricity, Internet, love everywhere you look. You are truly blessed. I know I am. I have everything I need.

I won’t worry about Santa Cruz and getting settled there because I know the Universe will take care of me. All I know is that when I get there, a job will be waiting for me. All I have to do is go and get it. I’m so looking forward to it. I know that I can get a job with so much opportunity. I know that Santa Cruz/Watsonville holds nothing but more blessing for me.

Ladies and gents, can you believe the faith I had there? When I read it, it just floored me. I mean, yes, I was there. I remember making that move. But I remember it in hindsight, in the light of the love of Sante and the great life I live now.

Reading through my journal from the month or two of absolute uncertainty I lived with opened my eyes to how much faith and trust is  necessary to do something, to create something truly great. But sometimes I just get caught up. From 2012:

Must. Relax. I’m thinking we really should work on chilling out. All I can think about is how much I need to work and how much I haven’t.

What if you lost every client? What if you made no money? It wouldn’t be the end of the world, that’s for sure. Nope. Many people have nothing and live just fine. I think I’ve got to work on how I think about things. I’m just looking outside myself so much.

And then sometimes I can walk the walk, but inside my fears and doubts are doing their best to undermine me. It would seem that June/July is my time for big change. In 2013 I was getting ready to cross an ocean to live in a new home:

I am able to move. I feel like that’s not a really problem for me. I do act and follow through right now. I am afraid of failing and afraid of succeeding but I will act as if. I’ve done it before. Ok, so do it again. I will act as if and go forward without hesitation.

And I feel like that’s what I’m coming up against now. The lesson I need to relearn is to draw on the strength within myself and trust the Universe that everything is going to work out well. I must trust myself and have faith.

It’s odd that a girl (I call my 29-year-old self that) with so little proof that life could be great could so easily believe in big and beautiful things, and now a woman with plenty of amazing experiences to back her beliefs up could struggle to rest her faith without picking it back up to see that something is working.

plant seedsReminds me of this quote:

 

When you plant seeds in the garden, you don’t dig them up every day to see if they have sprouted yet. You simply water them and clear away the weeds; you know that the seeds will grow in time.

~Bhikshuni Thubten Chodro

And so I’m praying for help with my faith. But I’m also trusting in myself more than I ever did before. Because I’m part of this equation too. I’ve gotta show up every day and be me so the Universe can work its magic.

Because that’s how it works. I’ve seen it before. As I wrote in 2013:

I am pleased with all the progress I’ve made, although … no although! Just look at how awesome you are 🙂 You’re a great human who has made big changes in her life and created something beautiful our of it. Gosh. I have created something so lovely out of what seemed like a pile of garbage. It wasn’t. It just needed sifting through, cleaning and love.

The cool thing is that now I’ve got a little more to work with than my “pile of garbage.” And I’m stoked to see what the Universe paints on my canvas next.

Wondering what this Monday Morning Pages thing is all about? Read how it started. Or check out all the archives.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Maryn June 24, 2014 at 7:44 pm

Your thoughts echo so many of my own…Some of the passages in your journal could have been torn from one of my pages 🙂 It’s funny how as we get older we lose that faith from our younger days. Lately, I’ve been trying to reconnect with that same wonder and creativity I held years ago.

Reply

Rebecca A. Watson June 25, 2014 at 10:54 am

Hey Maryn, I would love to read some of your thoughts on how to connect to that wonder and creativity! You have great insight 🙂 Thinking it might be time to write about how to cultivate trust in self and the Universe too.

Reply

Maryn June 28, 2014 at 4:16 am

Definitely, I’m going to think more about that and love hearing your thoughts as well! I’m rediscovering the flow…just started a project with a friend and remembering how exciting it is to create something again.

Maryn June 28, 2014 at 5:48 am

P.S. If you have some time, perhaps you’d like to answer the 10 questions below?

http://thewellspringblog.com/2014/06/03/ten-questions/

Meg Evans June 25, 2014 at 3:08 am

Sifting through, cleaning and love… yes, that’s enough to fix just about anything! No need to make life harder by adding unnecessary drama.

I’m glad I came across your insightful blog, and have added it to a list of positive sites I keep on my own blog. 🙂

Reply

Rebecca A. Watson June 25, 2014 at 10:53 am

Hey lady! Thanks for the comment. Glad it resonated with you. So true about not needing to add drama. And your list is really impressive! Thanks for including me 🙂

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